Posted by Rebecca

May 15, 2012 2 p.m. - Updated: 2:21 p.m.

This morning, I walked over to the advertising agency Boom to return some Women Helping Women photos. I walked in and two hip looking young men, and a very fashion-forward young woman, were in this cool space that didn't look very Spokane at all.

They explained they do creative work for clients all through the country.

“Do you have a brochure?” I asked.

No, they didn't. But they gave me a CD (see photo of it open here) which had information on the company.

Walking back to the office, I realized that brochures might be on their way out, too. It will likely be awhile, even a few more years, but printed brochures, the staple of business dealings for decades, might be on life supprt.

And as I was leaving, one of the guys, Dylan Kinsella, handed me his business card. Made of copper.

RIP: Boring, plain business cards, made out of paper?

May 14, 2012 2:28 p.m. - Updated: 2:37 p.m.

If you have a purpose in life, you might not lose your memories.

HealthDayNews released a story today about a study that looked at how having a strong purpose in life can keep your brain strong.

“Somehow, having a purpose allows people to cope with the physical signs of Alzheimer's disease,” said Patricia Boyle, an associate professor at the Rush Alzheimer's Disease Center at the Rush University Medical Center in Chicago.

Among those who had a lot of brain gunk — known as plaques and tangles — the ones who had greater purpose in life appeared to be less affected by a decline in their mental (or “cognitive”) powers. “The rate of cognitive decline was about 30 percent slower for someone with greater purpose in life, compared to someone with less purpose,” Boyle said.

(The researchers defined a purpose in life as the “tendency to find meaning from life experience, to be intentional and focused,” Boyle said. “It's an indicator of well-being, that life is good and you are contributing to your life, you're making decisions.”)

What older folks did you know who retained a sense of purpose late into life?

(S-R archive photo of Betty White, a 90-year-old actress filled with life)

Posted by Catherine

May 14, 2012 12:37 p.m. - Updated: 2:17 p.m.

When we are young, we seek adventure and look for ways to explore our world. Young people are so privileged to travel to different countries, to immerse themselves in another culture, and to learn about life while living it in new and exciting ways. Travel, I strongly believe, is the best form of education.

Sadly, the adventure ended for some Boston University students when their van crashed in New Zealand. Despite the risks, we release our children into the world and hope that they understand the dangers, the risks.  Unfortunately, precious children cannot be protected from accidents, nor can our hearts be protected from the anguishing grief those accidents bring.

Peace for the families and the Boston University community in the days ahead…

Posted by Rebecca

May 12, 2012 10:32 a.m. - Updated: 10:44 a.m.

When I was younger, I always wanted to jump ahead a generation. At 10, I dreamed of driving and steady boyfriends. At 20, in a Florence, Italy cafe, I journaled for hours about my worries and hopes for a career someday. As I age, I tend not to want to skip ahead so fast, but I still look forward to the next chapters in my life and the lives of my peers.

That's one reason I took the day off yesterday, swapping a work day to today to attend the Celebrate Life Expo at Spokane County's fairgrounds. It's filled with seminars, booths, entertainment geared mostly for the 65 and older set. So a generation ahead of mine, but the generation and its issues I am focusing more and more aging I track aging boomers into old age and beyond.

It's just getting started, but I am plotting out my day here. Hearing test? Bone scan? Square dancing demo at 2? But now, waiting for the fashion show to begin.

Posted by Catherine

May 11, 2012 8:21 p.m. - Updated: May 14, 2:24 p.m.

Mother’s Day. I tolerated it during those years when I longed for a child who could not be born. A child who could not be born from me.

And then…he arrived. A child through adoption, the miraculous process of child matched with parents. The ultimate blind date.

Alex is 18-years-old now. I still marvel at our coming together: different continents, same blood type. He looks like my husband, he acts like me. But his talents are uniquely his own. His creative mind, his generous spirit, his refusal to hurry through life, he is a wondrous soul who knows himself and acts accordingly – no matter how much I try to take him off course. I wish I had possessed half his self-confidence when I was twice his age.

I am grateful for the moments: when he was 3-years-old, he put his chubby little hands on my face and proclaimed, “I want to mah-wee you, Mommy!”  I watched one morning as he closed his eyes tightly and jumped on top of a book. When I asked, in that staccato, parent voice,”What..ARE..you..doing?!” He said, “I want to get in that story!” That year he also announced at breakfast he had been gone in the night, “The Moon Horse came and got me and took me for an adventure, Mommy. So, when I’m gone from my bed, don’t worry. I am with the Moon Horse.”  

At 7-years-old, he decided he loved “putting on shows” and stepped onto a stage, memorizing lines, performing with ease before 200 people. Tonight he performs in Footloose at a local theater. 

When my cancer came, he stayed close and made huge bowls of mashed potatoes because I said that was the only food that tasted good when I was in the hospital. Eight months later, we excused him from school for two weeks and traveled to Italy.  We walked off the grief from my illness - 81 miles over Italian streets. Alex is a perfect traveling companion: curious about everything and undaunted when plans go awry. He loved the “dead guy in a glass box” at St. Peter’s in Rome. He walked through Assisi, chattering on and on about St. Francis, who “talked” with animals.  We stood still in Piazza della Signoria catching snowflakes on our tongues while pigeons strutted around our feet. He hauled his suitcase on and off trains and over cobblestones through Bologna, Florence, Rome, Pescara, Perugia.  

While I have hauled him across this continent as well as  across the Atlantic Ocean, he has taken me on this wonderful journey of motherhood, a journey made up of wonderful moments.

And that is my daily prayer: give me grace to pay attention, to the moments, to the joy, to the gift who is our child.

We waited so long for him to arrive, but our journey, like those Italian trains, moved fast. Someday soon the Moon Horse will call him and he will follow, jumping into his own story. I’ll try not to worry. As he travels into young adulthood, I hope we have not left him with too much childhood baggage to haul into his future.

Thank you, Alex, for the privilege of sharing our lives, for teaching us more than we could possibly teach you. No matter how old you are or where your dreams take you, know that our love travels with you, always…through eternity into forever. Xoxoxo ~ Mom

(Photo of Cathy and Alex, Piazza della Signoria, Florence, 2005)

Posted by Rebecca

May 10, 2012 5:04 p.m. - Updated: 5:12 p.m.

Kids can do grief much differently than adults. They cannot sit with their sadness too long. And play is essential to their healing.

For several summers now, Hospice of Spokane has offered free camp for children ages 7 to 15 who have lost a loved one. They gather for two days at a camp on Lake Coeur d'Alene.

“While at camp, kids are busy with activities like swimming, basketball and crafts, as well as finding new, creative ways to remember their loved ones. Many campers make lasting friendships, giving them a support network that lasts long after camp ends. And all campers have the powerful realization that they are not alone in their grief. Most of the kids at Camp Chmepa have experienced an unexpected (traumatic or sudden death) of a loved one,” explained Dale Hammond of Hospice.

The camp this year will be held July 27 to 29, but applications are due soon.

To apply, call 509-456-0438 or go to hospiceofspokane.org and click on the Camp Chmepa button. There is no fee to attend camp, but space is limited.

Posted by Catherine

May 10, 2012 11:06 a.m. - Updated: 11:09 a.m.

Today I bumped into an Italian man who has lived in this country for 30 years. Since I can still speak some Italian from my college year in Florence, I started a conversation.

He spoke about what has changed in Italy, his mom, how he met his wife. And he told me he became an American citizen when Obama was elected.

He said that he knew he would finally be accepted as a real American because this country elected a black man  - Obama - as its president. Now he could feel accepted, too.

“He is the smartest man we ever had as president. And now he has accepted everyone when he (Obama) said he supports marriage for everybody,” said my Italian acquaintance.

“He is a man who is smart and has a good heart.”

It is a good time for all – all people, no matter how they define themselves – to be a citizen of the United States.

(S-R archives photo)

Posted by Catherine

May 9, 2012 3:35 p.m. - Updated: 3:41 p.m.

Hillary Clinton received a great deal of attention yesterday…not for anything she said in Bangladesh as Secretary of State, but instead for the state of her appearance. She wore her glasses, no make-up and had this to say when comments were made:

 “I feel so relieved to be at the stage I'm at in my life right now. Because you know if I want to wear my glasses I'm wearing my glasses. If I want to wear my hair back I'm pulling my hair back. You know at some point it's just not something that deserves a lot of time and attention. And if others want to worry about it, I let them do the worrying for a change.”  

When will people get it? It’s not about the hair…it’s her brains under her hair that deserve our attention. Maybe next week we can talk about Speaker John Boehner's tendency toward tears?

(S-R archives photo)

Posted by Rebecca

May 9, 2012 3:18 p.m. - Updated: 3:26 p.m.

Facebook seems to be “trending” today on this: The desire to reconnect with old friends but the inability to do so because the friend has died. (Often discovered on a Google search when the obit appears.)

My Facebook friend and former S-R staffer, Kory Boatman, had a variation on this theme. He wrote:

 Today I lay down a challenge for you. If you can, call your mom and tell her you love her. Or, better yet, if possible, drop by her house and give her a big hug and tell her what she means to you. Today would have been my dear mom's 71st birthday. How I wish I could fulfill my own challenge. Sadly, I can't . Mom, I miss you and love you more and more every day. Your infectious smile still lights up my days and comforts my nights. Thank you for all your love and guidance you provided along the way. You are my inspiration.

So bottom line: Look up those old friends — now. Say I love you — now. It's never too early. But it's often too late.
  

(S-R archives photo)

  

Posted by Rebecca

May 8, 2012 5:13 p.m. - Updated: 5:20 p.m.

The obituary for Larry McKay ran in our newspaper Sunday. It should be passed out in journalism classes, and in funeral homes, for a great example of an obit that is both witty and profound.

It's been shared 473 times on Facebook. Treat yourself and read the whole thing. But here's an excerpt:

Larry was always a model big brother. In that same park he taught Dale valuable lessons in navigation by ditching him in the middle of the woods and heading home. He also made sure Dale had new tennis shoes whenever he needed them. He showed Dale how to jam the toe of his old tennis shoe into the escalator stair at JCPenney then run to the store clerks with the damaged shoe. The clerk would get anxious and offer a brand new pair off the shelves while ushering him out of the store. Worked every time.