Posted by Rebecca

May 23, 2013 9:35 a.m. - Updated: 9:58 a.m.

When I was 4 and 5 years old, I was enthralled every weekday morning by Romper Room and the beautiful Miss Florence who would call out children's names through a magic mirror at the end of each show.

I begged my parents to let me go on, and somehow, I was accepted for the program. But the two-week gig would have required a parent to drive me every morning to KREM's studios on the South Hill in the winter in the days before snow tires were very good.

We were a one-car family in 1959-60 and my mom had six kids and my dad a busy law practice and so, the plan looked impossible.

I must have been inconsolable, because I remember that one morning, the phone rang, and it was Miss Florence on the line explaining that I couldn't be on the show this time, but maybe “when the snow melts all off of the ground.”

I never did make it on the show and didn't pursue the “snow melt” promise. But I remained a forever fan of Miss Florence for making that phone call.

I recently interviewed Florence Petheram for a story that ran in the newspaper today. She is still beautiful. And at 81, still amazing, living in Auburn to be near her four grown children. She's written two children's books, skydived for her 80th birthday, has a special man friend and for Mother's Day, she requested a hula hoop! She'll be in Spokane Saturday, reading from her book Magic is for When You Need It.

Thanks for the phone call long ago, Miss Florence, and for the memories!

(Photo courtesy of Florence Petheram)

Posted by Rebecca

May 22, 2013 11:20 a.m. - Updated: 11:29 a.m.

On Morning Joe today, they showed over and over a very touching amateur video taken of parents frantically looking for their children after the Oklahoma tornado. And children looking for their parents.

No one knew — or cared — they were on video and so it was so real, unvarnished emotion. And so moving. Parents held onto their children for dear life.

Others searched the crowd outside school, looking, looking, looking, asking friends.

Tears and screams and one boy, lost among the adults, looking at adult faces, hoping to spot mom or dad.

Reality TV, with its staged tears and fake scenes of drama, has nothing on the real thing. This is life.

Wonderful and terrifying, all the time, really, not just in tragedy.

But a parent and child united, that's what blows everything away.

(S-R archive photo)

Posted by Rebecca

May 20, 2013 3:46 p.m. - Updated: 4:04 p.m.

The Women Helping Women Fund luncheon was held today, an annual event that has grown to spectacular proportions, with 1,600 women and men contributing $125 each (and more) to help fund 20 community programs for women and children.

The speaker, Paralympic medal winner and author Bonnie St. John was terrific, the lunch menu  an upscale BLT  was creative and tasty and I sat with a table of remarkable women, including table chair Jamie Tobias Neely, writer and EWU teacher of journalism.

But I felt a tinge of sadness after I read the page with the names of the luncheon founders — Mari Clack, Marcy Drummond, Vicki McNeill, Shirley Rector, Janet Skaden and Vivian WInston. All but Mari and Marcy have died.

I wrote the first stories on this revolutionary early 1990s idea when it was unheard of for women to be asked to contribute $100 (the suggested donation in the early years.) Yet the founders didn't flinch at the asking. They knew the need was great. They asked and women opened their purses and wrote those checks.

Now these big-ask fundraisers go on all the time, though Women Helping Women luncheon is the biggest.

I thought of the day I interviewed the women about their vision, which began as a discussion in Vivian's living room. And now four of the six are dead. McNeill, former Spokane mayor, died first in 1997. The others died throughout the 2000s. Vivian made it to 97 years old.

“This is because of you” I thought silently, thanking Vicki, Shirley, Janet and Vivian, the women now gone. “Thanks for thinking so big. It worked.”

(S-R archive photo of Vivian Winston)

Posted by Catherine

May 19, 2013 6 a.m.

How will you maximize your retirement funds? Many people are heading across the US borders to foreign lands and calling their destination their retirement home - and enjoying more  luxury than they could in the USA.

 Where would you go?

(S-R archives photo)

Posted by Catherine

May 18, 2013 6 a.m.

We love our dogs. Each year we spend $$$ on their health and happiness. Last week I spent $700 for emergency care and tests and meds for my beloved Bella. She stayed close to me during my cancer treatment so I figure she should get good medical care, too. And a new gel foam bed for her aging body.

One man says he owes his life to his dog, Casey, a service dog who detected explosives in Afghanistan.  But they were separated when Marine Sgt. Ross Gundlach went home and Casey stayed behind.  After some searching, Gundlach learned that Casey was now in Iowa, working. Gundlach pleaded his case for her return to him as her handler. And soon some very kind compassionate Iowans surprised Gundlach with a reunion – and a gift: Casey.  

 A happy story from Afghanistan to home.

(S-R archives photo)

Posted by Rebecca

May 15, 2013 9:07 a.m. - Updated: 9:21 a.m.

NPR's Morning Edition had an excellent report on the Boston bombing which happened one month ago today.

Only one business has not reopened. And the reporter talked to many witnesses who were there that day.

Their comments reflected how grief works.

One man said his birthday was coming up soon and after that, he was putting the memories away.

“If you dwell on it, it will swallow you up. Every wound needs to heal.”

A grief therapist said there should be no timetable to the grief. Some will move on; others it will take a long time.

Several said: “The vision of that will never disappear.”

One young man choked up when he said: “I remember walking over people” and he thought: Not as hurt as some others. So he walked to the more injured. But he wonders: Who am I to make the decision?

A firefighter friend gave him this advice: “You cry. You let it out.”

It is good our culture is getting more conversant in grief. And so many are willing to step in and help others as they struggle through grief that lasts a lot longer than one month.

(S-R archive photo)

Posted by Rebecca

May 14, 2013 2:45 p.m. - Updated: 3:11 p.m.

When I heard the news yesterday about Dr. Joyce Brothers, I remembered meeting her and writing a story about her. I remember that, somehow, I picked her up at the airport and we did the interview in the car. I remembered she was kind of crabby. And that's all I remembered.

I spent an hour searching our digital archives for the story I wrote about her. I was sure it was in 1994 or later. Our archives were stored digitally in 1994 and beyond. No luck.

I finally went down to our newspaper library and in Brothers' clipping file, I found the story I wrote March 19, 1990. Memory is odd that way. It's nearly impossible to remember anymore if something happened five years ago or 10.

Brothers had come to town, sponsored by Hospice of Spokane, to talk about grief. Her husband had died the year before.

In the story, I reported (in a fairly gentle way) on her slightly rude behavior at the airport when her luggage was lost and how distracted and aloof she seemed in our interview.

Her coldness and aloofness were all I remembered thinking back, but the story reminded me that at the end of our interview, she cried about her husband. And at her talk, she cried, describing her grief. And her words about grief — before I understood myself about grief because I hadn't lost then any of the people I have lost since — were so right on the mark.

For instance, she said: “The only thing I regret is that I discovered how right he was about all the small things, and I can't tell him. For example, he would always come in the kitchen and close the cabinets. I cook and I always leave the cabinets open. He'd say: 'You are going to hit your head.' And by God, I did. And I wish he was here so I could tell him.”

When she sobbed during her talk in front of 800 people, she said: “I wouldn't be human if I didn't cry.”

And the audience was amazing. They let Brothers cry. “They took off their glasses, wiped the tears away and then placed the glasses on their faces again.”

Godspeed Dr. Brothers. Thanks for the memories.

(Spokesman-Review archive photo of Joyce Brothers in the 1960s)

Posted by Catherine

May 14, 2013 9:26 a.m. - Updated: 9:31 a.m.

I have not cared for Angelina – given all that she did to mess with Jennifer Aniston’s marriage to Brad. But today…my heart has softened. Her story of facing her high likelihood of breast cancer – genetic certainty – will offer hope to the women who receive their diagnosis today and tomorrow and next week and…

Women make all kinds of difficult decisions when faced with their own mortality in the middle of motherhood. And death at an early age is not an option when parenting sweet children who need and love you – and worry.

 In the years to come, Angelina will grow stronger in her conviction she made the right choice, her children will grow in their understanding of what she struggled with and how remarkably brave their mom is…and how much she underwent so she could continue to love them and accompany them on their journey through life. She will not be preoccupied with endless mammograms or freaked out with twinges within her breasts, wondering if it is cancer growing menacingly within her. Those twinges will be of love she carries in her heart, life’s joyful adventures, not agonizing over what may be quickly killing her. And today, I identify with an actress I now see as a woman of courage –  the same courage I once needed and found, too.

(S-R archives photo)

Posted by Catherine

May 13, 2013 noon

 Boomers may work longer than their parents for many reasons. But interestingly, perhaps the US economy needs you at work just as much as you need to be working.

A colleague tells me that his retirement simply meant that he was allowed to choose where and when he could work. Of course, he has a very portable career. So, what choices are there for you?  Change jobs? Leave fast-paced  office for easier work and friendlier environment? Less stress?  Take a chance and start that business?   

What plans or choices have you made about retirement?

Posted by Rebecca

May 10, 2013 11:19 a.m. - Updated: 11:33 a.m.

Heritage Funeral Home and Crematory always offers some interesting programs each Memorial Day weekend, coming up May 25, 26 and 27.

This year it's a tribute to veterans with displays and memorabilia, classic cars and musical entertainment all three days in the Heritage Chapel. Plus a brass band concert at 6 p.m. Sunday May 26 in Greenwood Memorial Terrace Cemetery.

But Heritage is also offering free CPR classes, using the hands-only method that recent research says is effective. Some people are too intimidated to perform mouth-to-mouth, so the hope is that the more people who learn the hands-only method, the more people will do CPR in emergencies.

The staff at Heritage had training because people sometimes pass out at memorial services, according to funeral director Paula Davis.

The staff learned so much that they are offering free lessons to members of the public, in partnership with  American Medical Response.

The classes will be offered at every hour on the hour all three days, starting at 10 a.m. and ending at 4 p.m.

No need to sign up in advance. Just show up. You could save a life someday because of it.

(S-R File photo of hands-on CPR)